Tuesday, July 13, 2021 Italy Adventures

We were in Italy for a few days some years ago – a grand adventure! We were walking around Genoa one day near the port and I sought rest and shade under a tree while Kris was investigating something. When he rejoined me, he mentioned that some guy had tried to give him a little carved item, which he had to refuse several times. That seemed mystifying and we joked about how it was probably some sort of hidden drug cache that he’d track to our home town to reclaim.

We walked farther on down the port and while Kris went over to look at a large reproduction of an old ship, he was approached by another man trying to give away a little carved item. Kris refused a few times but this guy was more persistent and managed to find out that Kris spoke English. Kris was making his getaway to return to where I was when the fatal mistake occurred: the man turned around and saw me.

“Oh, is that your wife?” He said cheerily, and you could almost see the thought bubble forming over his head, saying “I have found the weak link!” He came over and pressed a small wooden elephant in my palm, saying “This is a gift for you – I am just giving it away today. I am from Kenya and we are here raising money for our country, but today is our last day and I am just going to give this to you.” I was a little dumbfounded, but said thank you, uncertainly.

He then pressed a small wooden turtle into Kris’s palm with the same speech. We were trying to make the best of an awkward situation, but didn’t really want to take these “gifts.” He asked where we were from and when we told him the United States, he beamed with pleasure. “Oh, I love America! I live in New York and love it there!” He was all smiles and pleasantness. “Yesterday I was selling these for 35 euro each, but today because it is our last day, I give them to you free. No charge. Do you have children?”

This was an abrupt change of topic, but we said yes, and this sent him into another frenzy of activity with little decorative strings that he tied around our wrists with a strange ritual involving each of us blowing on the string, kissing each other and then him tying it on. Awkward! How do we get out of here? He reassured us many, many times that all of this largesse was absolutely no charge, just out of the kindness of his heart. We were getting restless and trying to move away when the other shoe dropped.

He got out a third carved item and said, “And now I give you this last item, no charge, but if you could give us something, anything, to help our country we would appreciate it. It doesn’t matter how much – anything will help.”

I was desperate to get out of his clutches at this point and began to open my purse, thinking it would be easiest to give him 5 euros as a fee for letting us go. But Kris stepped in firmly, taking the harder but better route of refusal, stating that we weren’t going to take the items since it now obligated us to give, rather than making our giving be something we chose to do freely. He was nonplussed and continued to look cheerful, saying, “Don’t be vexed with me – these are gifts, no charge, no obligation. Just give whatever you want, no matter how much!” Kris eventually took all three carved items and placed them carefully in the man’s palm. The man looked at me, as if to say, “Are you really going to let him do this?” but we broke free at last. That guy was a master of his trade!

We were to discover that peddlers trying to sell things to tourists were everywhere in this fair country. A couple days later we were on the beach in Bordighera, our one time to sit at a beach and relax. Naturally, as soon as we got situated, an endless parade of beach vendors added us to their route. They were selling things like jewelry, towels, mats or books. In an hour and a half, I had five of them stop by. Here’s how a typical interaction with them went:

Man: *many Italian words* spoken while showing his wares.
Me: (they never approached Kris, of course): No, grazie.
Man: *more Italian words.*
Me: No, grazie.
Man: *many more Italian words* as if the words, “No grazie,” were to be interpreted as “please continue.”
Me: No, grazie.

It usually took about four or five “No grazies” to bring about an end to the conversation. One man had set out two or three of his beautiful mats in front of me and when he’d finally accepted the idea that I wasn’t going to be buying them, he spent 5 minutes at the foot of my chair slowly and carefully folding them up and putting them back over his shoulder in silent reproach, perhaps in a last attempt to get a sympathy purchase. I have to say, I admired their persistence.

This has been Tuesday True Stories brought to you by Lynniebeemuseoday.

I’ll probably sell this to you in the morning. What’s that you say? “No grazie?”