Friday, December 10, 2021 Battle of the Inflatables

This just in from a small and seemingly peaceful town in Minnesota. Every year in December (or even starting in November), a group of Inflatables moves into town and begins a season of visual harassment. It used to be just one gang of Inflatables: Santa Claus, Snowman and the occasional Reindeer, with Santa as the indisputable leader. You’ve all seen them. They look innocent enough, but the harassment is real.

Until recently, they’ve had a complete monopoly on the local snow-covered lawns, but in a shocking upset this year, another gang has rolled into town, fighting for their share of the turf. Headed up by the nasty Grinch, this other group of ne’er-do-wells has attempted to gloss over the bad reputation of their leader by featuring the universally adored Baby Yoda. We talked to some people on the street (who declined to be named) and asked them what they thought of this unsettling development. “Well, I’m still loyal to the Santa gang,” said one man, “but I have to admit that I’ve been considering going with the Baby Yoda group next year.” Apparently, this man hasn’t realized that the nefarious Mr. Grinch (he’s a mean one!) is the actual boss, so Grinch’s diabolical plan has been an act of PR genius. And of course, we already know that Mr. Grinch has a Santa suit and knows how to use it.

When we stopped to talk to a woman in the neighborhood, she looked around carefully to make sure no one was listening and then said, “I just LOVE Baby Yoda! As far as I’m concerned, Santa is yesterday’s news. But don’t tell him I said that. I mean, I guess the old fellow still has a little bit of charm. But that Baby Yoda, I WANT ONE!”

When we went to interview Santa about this development, we were shocked to find him already down for the count.

Fingerprints were taken at the scene of the crime, but they were all smudgy and not much use. The forensic experts found some tell-tale green hairs in the snow, but will it be enough to make an arrest?

Meanwhile, Jesus, the real reason for the season, continues to show up in quiet manger scenes, unconcerned about the Battle of the Inflatables. He’ll still be there long after the last Inflatable has been deflated.

O come, let us adore Him!

This has been (mostly) Fiction Friday with Lynniebeemuseoday.

I might delete this in the morning, but I might not. Talk to my press agent, please – I’m not doing interviews right now.