Friday, March 4, 2022 Family Council

We raised six children, five boys and one girl, an adventure that is almost unparalleled. When I was growing up (in a family also of six children), my parents occasionally had what they called “family council,” where we’d gather to discuss items of family interest. At some point, my husband and I decided to do the same. He was president in perpetuity of this council and I was the secretary, dutifully taking notes.

The first meeting was on June 8th, 1997 when our oldest was 9 years old and our youngest wasn’t yet born. The last meeting was on December 30, 2016 when our oldest was 28 and our youngest was 18. Sometimes the meetings were weekly; sometimes months (or even years) would go by between meetings. Sometimes we held votes on things, other times the parents used their power of “divine fiat.” (So it is written, so it shall be done!)

Here’s how the meetings went. Hubby opened with prayer and then went around the table asking the various participants if they wanted any topics on the agenda. Typical topics in those early years coming from the kids would be things like what desserts to have in the next week, the desire to get a dog for a pet (this came up often over the years), grievances with a sibling, summer vacation plans, requests for computer games, reports on their activities, etc.

Typical issues from the parents were the generally fun-wrecking topics of obedience training, chores, setting down of family rules, reports on the progress made when we were trying to work on some family issue, setting forth computer and TV watching schedules, etc. But we also brought up prayer requests, special privileges granted, commendations to the children on things well done, fun events in the future, and movie night plans.

Looking over the minutes from these meetings is a hoot. Here’s a sample from our first meeting:
Item #7. Breakfast topics: There will be a 2-bowl limit on cold cereal – anyone still hungry can have a piece of toast. If there is any fighting over cereal boxes, they’ll be removed. No breakfast after 8:30 a.m.

Yes, these are the types of things that we wrangled over as part of a large family.

At that first meeting, we also established a family program that endured for many years: the Boy Of The Week (BOTW), which had to be amended to Child of the Week when Ruth got old enough to participate. From my minutes, “Privileges include having the seat next to Ruthie in the car, being Cook’s Helper all week, being chosen to pray at the table (unless Mom or Dad are praying), helping make a special treat during the week, going on errands alone with Mom or Dad, and helping set and clear the table. We established seating rotation for the van and for the dining room table.”

Sounds like a well-oiled machine, doesn’t it? Well, as any of our kids will tell you, our household wasn’t so much of a well-oiled machine as it was a rollicking ride in a bumpy jalopy. Oh, the many arguments, fights and tears over the years. But oh, what joy we had along the way. Those wonderful Family Council Minutes are a snapshot of a family that was not perfect by a long shot, but which toiled together regularly to pray, work through problems, tell our stories, and create treasured traditions.

I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Meeting adjourned.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127 3-5

I’ll probably take a motion to delete this post in the morning. Seconded?