Thursday, August 4, 2022 Dear Dr. Jekyll

Many years ago (1986, to be exact) I created a family newsletter called “The BBB” for my family: my mom and dad, my siblings and me and our spouses. The idea was to send one out every other month, but in those days there was no email. I had to send the forms out by mail and wait for family members to return them to me with information, so the timing of publication was always a bit iffy. In each issue, there were updates on each family member, called “Tidbits,” answers from everyone to a particular question, called “Personal Glimpses,” an opinion section, creative contributions (drawings, quotes, cartoons), and advice columnists. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? It was!

Looking over the first issue, I see that the Personal Glimpses question was “When was the last time you had trouble falling asleep and why?” The opinion topic was: Dimples (that’s about as controversial as our family got). The four advice columnists were: Miss Prissy (etiquette questions), Dear Guinevere (relationship problems), Dr. Jekyll (health problems) and Handyman Dan (household hints). I can now disclose that all the advice columnists were just one person: my husband. Here are some sample questions and answers from Issue #2:

Dear Dr. Jekyll, How does the body work?
Dr. Jekyll says: Fine, if you feed it daily and give it plenty of sleep.

Dear Guinevere, How can you guarantee anonymity?
Dear Leslie, Not to worry, just trust me. Guinevere.

Dear Dr. Jekyll, My bones are wearing out! What should I do?
Dr. Jekyll says: Sticks and stones may break your bones but milk will never hurt you.

Dear Handyman Dan, What is a sure fire way to get a mouse to enter a trap?
Handyman Dan says: If you are having trouble with an unwanted “mouse guest” consider this: today’s house mouse is more sophisticated than those of yesteryear. No self-respecting YUMM-ie (Young Upwardly Mobile Mouse) would touch a chunk of American cheese. Try instead a chunk of bleu cheese or quiche Lorraine to whet its appetite.

After all these years, those answers still crack me up. I think he missed his calling by working as a corn breeder for so many years.

The BBB ran from August 1986 to December 1993 with only 13 issues in those seven years. It was a good run.

So now I want to give all of you, my faithful subscribers, the chance to be an advice columnist. I think my question should be addressed to Dr. Jekyll, so here it is:

Dear Dr. Jekyll: The other day my husband was looking for the brown sugar. I had used it that morning but it wasn’t in the cupboard where it belonged. We looked in all the cupboards and it wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Finally, my husband found it in the microwave. I had used it on some rice that I had microwaved and then absentmindedly stuck the brown sugar in there when I took the rice out. Is this normal behavior for a 63-year-old? How can I prevent this from happening again?

If I don’t misplace this post somewhere overnight, I’ll probably delete it in the morning.