Monday, August 31, 2026 The Polite Puffin Begins His Story

August 31, 2026 ~ Foodiness ~ Leave a comment

I am a puffin and I have orange feet. This is my story.

I was born with orange feet, as were all my friends and relations. We were endowed with orange feet by our Creator, the Puffin Maker. I happen to think that we are an extremely attractive group, and it’s not just our beautiful orange feet. Take a look at my beak. I don’t like to boast, but I will if you insist. You do? Let the record show that you insisted that I boast, in spite of the fact that I initially demurred. About my beak: it’s a delightful swirl of orange, yellow and black. And let’s not forget the yellow-orange splotch where the beak starts. “What’s that for?”I hear you asking. I’m not sure, but I’m open to suggestions.

It may surprise you to learn – lean in closer now; I’m about to reveal something shocking. As I was saying – pay attention, please – our beaks are actually a rather dull gray color in the winter! In the spring, quite when we are least expecting it, our beaks burst into color like a sunrise over the ocean. It’s a time of laughter and song among us, a sign that romance is blooming over the horizon, just like the sun. And with that enticing bit of foreshadowing, the first chapter of my memoir has come to a close.

Oh, you want to know my name? In puffin language, it would be “bra-ha-whir-whor-orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” It might be easiest if you call me Rufus. Rufus, the Polite Puffin.

It’s me now – Lynniebee – to tell you that I might be deleting this orange-footed post in the morning.

Wednesday, July 15, 2026 Story Time

July 15, 2026 ~ Foodiness ~ 3 Comments

During a FaceTime chat today with our granddaughter (6) and grandson (4), my granddaughter suggested I tell a regular story, like “Jack and the Beanstalk,” but using stuff from around our house for the characters and scenery. I’m in!

Here we have Jack and his mother:

Jack is on the left, in case you weren’t sure.

Having been told to go sell the cow for money to buy food, Jack ended up selling it to a peddler for 5 magic beans.

The peddler is on the left.
She ended up riding the cow after the purchase.

Jack’s mother wasn’t too happy about the beans and threw them out the window onto the ground. She harangued Jack for a bit and went to bed in a huff.

As you know, a beanstalk grew from those beans (you’ll see that later). Jack went up the beanstalk. He fell from halfway up which was unfortunate, but he clambered back up and again and found the goose who laid the golden egg.

The goose is on the left. The golden egg is next to her in a nest.

The elements of the story were getting somewhat hazy to me, but I managed to remember the “Fe Fi Fo Fum” bit and employed that a couple times with the accompanying line, “I smell the blood of an Englishman!” My granddaughter laughed and said, “That’s just what my Dad used to say!”

I asked for help from the audience, having forgotten how Jack got out of his predicament, but no help was forthcoming. It occurred to me that a hatchet was involved. I had no hatchet, so the goose had to donate her nest to play the part of the hatchet. Jack climbed back down with the golden egg and cut the beanstalk down just in time. The giant fell with it and was killed. I’m not sure what happened to the goose, but I like to think she came down with Jack.

The giant is on the left of the beanstalk, having met his end.

Jack’s mother, who had originally been quite upset about the purchase of the magic beans, was thrilled to get the golden egg. We decided that Jack’s father was at work and missed the whole thing.

THE END.

That’s how our lamp ended up on the floor. I guess I should pick it up, along with the beans.

I’ll probably hack this post down with a fake hatchet in the morning.

Friday, July 3, 2026 The Last Day

July 3, 2026 ~ Foodiness ~ 5 Comments

It’s our last day at camp today. My husband will be busy with projects until the last moment, but the week turned out quite differently for me than the one I anticipated. Instead of slaving away in the kitchen, I’ve had a lot of free time, most of which I’ve spent sitting down. Yes, the word you’re thinking of is “sedentary.” The most active I get is often when I walk from our camper to the dining hall for a meal. Or sometimes I walk over to the lake and sit, enjoying the breeze.

I actually went for a real walk today, though, down the dirt road leaving camp and out on the paved road leading to the highway. It was very “yoo-meed,” which is French for “humid.” It was the most mileage I’ve put on the new knee in one go since I got it: 1.75 miles. Seems paltry, but it’s not.

Our camper has AC, for which we are very thankful. Even so, most of the time I sit outside, acclimating myself to the temperature while I read through books, pencil in hand. I like to underline as I go, making occasional remarks or inserting a heart or smiley face.

I’ve also continued to do some painting, trying to get the most out of my limited palette. Two more tiny art paintings have emerged (copied from Pinterest) with my signature droll commentary on them. I even wrote a tiny poem to go with one of the tiny paintings!

My sister gave me some postcards made of blank watercolor paper; I threw those in with my little bag of wc supplies and now unveil for you three of them that I did this week. Perhaps one of these will make its way to your mailbox – you never know!

That last one of the bike is what happens when I decide to go wild and paint something that is right in front of me, rather than copying something on Pinterest. Think of it as a primitive Grandma Moses painting to make it seem better than it is.

I made a discovery last night that completely derailed me: you can now make collages on Pinterest! Suddenly nothing else mattered. I kept making more and saying to myself, “This is my last one.” Here’s my last one (for now):

Isn’t it charming? I am stupidly excited about these, even though they serve absolutely no purpose. An intervention might be needed.

Thank you for coming along with me this week, and my apologies for not having more interesting fare to dish up for you. Don’t give up on me!

I’ll probably collage this whole thing in the morning.

Friday, June 12, 2026 Sir Fatty Frog

June 12, 2026 ~ Foodiness ~ 4 Comments

I came across Sir Fatty Frog in the perennial garden the other day – gave me quite a start. He didn’t seem to notice me, so I presume he was thinking froggy thoughts in accordance with the way he was created.

Sir Fatty Frog
Sits on a leaf
(Why not a log?
Ask the frog!)

He’s plump and green,
Sir Fatty Frog
(I’m awfully keen
On that kind of green)

Sir Fatty Frog
Has bulgy eyes
(He’s all agog,
Sir Fatty Frog)

Give glory to God,
Sir Fatty Frog
(Just blink and nod,
He made you odd.)

Dedicated to my friend, Jeannette, who has been asking me to write more whimsical poetry.

Sir Fatty Blog will go on a deletion diet in the morning.

Wednesday, June 3, 2026 Oldie But Goodie

June 3, 2026 ~ Foodiness ~ 3 Comments

Years ago I tried doing a daily art piece or comic that I put on Instagram. It lasted about 30 days. Here’s one of those since I haven’t had time to do anything remotely artsy lately. Of course, you may look at the item below and say to yourself “This isn’t remotely artsy either.” That would be fair.