Thursday, March 17, 2022 It’s All Ducky

I overheard such an amusing conversation between mallard drakes the other day. They were so cleverly hidden in the brush down by the pond I almost didn’t see them at first.

I tiptoed as close as I could without alarming them and this is what I heard:

Mallard 1: I saw her first.
Mallard 2: You most certainly did not. The only reason you even looked over there was because you saw ME looking.
Mallard 1: Oh, please. You had your fat yellow bill stuck in the water trying to find food when I saw her.
Mallard 2: Really! What a nice little story you tell. I’ll be sure to pass that on to her when I meet her.
Mallard 1: You’ll have to get past me to meet her and I assure you, that will not be an easy task.
Mallard 2: Why haven’t you gone over there yet, then?
Mallard 1: What a fool you are! If you want results, this requires a nuanced approach. You’re much too dull to understand it.
Mallard 2: You’re a coward, that’s what you are.
Mallard 1: I don’t see you moving in that direction, Mr. Bravado.
Mallard 2: I thought maybe I’d let you go over first so I could watch you and your “nuanced approach” get rejected before I show her what a real duck acts like.

It appeared this might go on for some time, so I tiptoed over to the object of their affections.

She appeared to be ignoring them, but then I heard her sigh heavily as she fluffed her pretty wing feathers and walked away.

I’ll probably delete this in the morning, but not right away – it requires a nuanced approach.