Tuesday, April 19, 2022 Incompetent…

I’ve watched enough Perry Mason now to get a real feel for courtroom etiquette – at least the television version of it. Perry’s hapless “adversary” is the district attorney, Hamilton Burger. That poor guy has never won a case against Perry. He’s got some pizazz about him though. One of my favorite lines of his is when he objects to a question that Perry has asked of a witness. “Your Honor, I object! That question is incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!” It’s never just one of those things – it is always all three. Most of us would be gobsmacked by getting that trio of words slung at us on a regular basis, but Perry just keeps on plugging away and the next thing you know, the real murderer has confessed and Burger has lost his case.

I think there are any number of situations in which you could toss off that phrase and add entertainment value to your whole day.

“I don’t like the food you made for supper.”
”Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!”

“Someone said it’s going to snow tomorrow.”
“Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!”

“He started it!”
”Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!”

“You wouldn’t believe what I heard so-and-so say.”
”Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!”

Good old Hamilton Burger. He’s very long-suffering in his job, but to give him credit, he always says it’s not about winning a case, it’s about seeing justice served. And in my book, that’s competent, relevant and material!

You know what I’m going to have to say if someone tells me to delete this blog post…