Friday, April 22, 2022 The Dominion Mandate

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26

There is a creeping thing that creeps on the earth that infiltrates our domicile every year. It’s small, it’s shiny, it’s round, it’s orange with black spots. By now, all my fellow Minnesotans have guessed who the culprit is.

Yes, it’s the Asian beetle, evil twin of the genteel lady bug. To quote Dr. Seuss,
“I do not like them, Sam I am.
I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere.”

And to add my own verse,
“I do not like them in my house,
I do not like them on my blouse,
I do not like them on the sill,
I see them and I want to kill.”

In the spirit of the dominion mandate, I have placed our canister vacuum on semi-permanent standby next to the bathroom, where they always seem to congregate. As soon as I see one – whoosh! In they go! I used to put tape over the end of the vacuum tube just in case they didn’t perish and decided to make their way out again, but over time, I realized that this extra precaution was a bit silly.

One day recently I whooshed six of them out of existence in one fell swoop. It was a good day.

I might have to whoosh this blog post out of existence in the morning.