Monday, November 28, 2022 The Trouble with Pie Crust

First of all, I must vindicate my mother of all blame for my inability to turn out a good pie crust. She very patiently instructed me in the craft many years ago. I used to try it now and again, but usually fell back on buying those nasty frozen pie crusts that came in their own aluminum pan. To me, the crust is the least interesting part of the pie – it’s the innards that count, right? Still, being able to make a good pie crust is the mark of a good baker, so someone once told me. At some point I invested in a plastic rolling pin which you could fill with ice water and a plastic sheet upon which to roll pie crust that had a template printed on it to make the perfect size. These nifty gadgets did not work any miracles for me.

Mid-way into my home cooking career I decided to ask a couple of older women at our church how they tackled the pie crust problem. Virginia said she had a fool-proof easy way to make it and proceeded to give a thorough exegesis on the subject that included rolling it out between two sheets of wax paper. It sounded very doable and I couldn’t wait to try it. I turned to Donna for her pie crust secrets and she said her recipe was even easier. She told me of the availability of rolled pie crusts in boxes in the refrigerated section of the grocery store. What is this wondrous product that had hitherto been unknown to me? Virginia’s recipe crumbled to dust before my eyes and Donna’s recipe had a shining aura around it. Sold!

I have used Donna’s “recipe” for many years now, but last week when I went to the grocery store to buy a couple for our pumpkin pies, I was dismayed to see how much the price had gone up. I really couldn’t justify buying pie crusts when I had all the ingredients at home to make them. Sigh…time to return to the basics.

I’ve learned that there are no shortcuts to making a good pie crust. It’s a craft that can only be perfected with practice. The recipe could not be simpler: flour, salt, water and shortening. But there are so many nuances: how much you work the dough, how much water to put in, how cold the water is, how much flour to roll it in, how to roll it without the dough catching on your rolling pin, how to avoid all the tearing and splitting, how to pick it up without ruining it, how to flute the edges, etc.

My pumpkin chiffon pies turned out well in spite of the fact that the crust didn’t look very professional. Sadly, I neglected to get a photo of them after filling them. There’s a surprise ending to this story, however, a real plot twist! I made two pies and kept them both out in the garage with a cover over them. We polished off the first one easily with our guests and had gotten a small start on the second one. When my husband brought in the second pie from the garage a couple days later, we were all set to plate them and cover them with whipping cream when I noticed tiny little marks on the pie surface. Little marks that looked like they could be tiny prints. Then we noticed that the pie crust on the edge had been eaten away. Some horrible little varmint had pushed its way under the cover and defiled our pie! No doubt this was a happier ending for our waistlines.

I’ll probably dump this post in the wastebasket in the morning, where it will join the rest of that pumpkin pie. *shudder*