Friday, January 19, 2024 Fig Newton Part 10: Mrs. Twig’s Dilemma

In short (to bring you up to date), Fig Newton, the frog, has gone on an adventure in his boat, the Lucky Lucy. He met a bear named Grimpus who was traveling with a little girl named Miss Agra. Fig made a list of things he wanted to accomplish on his adventures, a plan which was suddenly upended by the theft of his boat by a fox named Phineas. Grimpus, Miss Agra and Fig ran to try to get the boat back, but couldn’t keep up. Stopping to figure out how to proceed, they met up with Colonel Purslane, a hedgehog who promised to help them find Fig’s boat and apprehend the villainous fox. Colonel Purslane suggested they consult with Clive, the snail who delivered the mail. In the meantime, Willow the rabbit caught sight of Phineas going down the river and wondered what he was up to.

For the next part of the story, we actually have to backtrack a little.

Earlier in the day:

Phineas Fox was out for a morning walk on a windy day by the river, thinking about the eggs in Farmer Goodfellow’s hen house. He used to have easy access to the eggs, but the farmer had recently shored up his defenses. My, how Phineas missed those eggs! He never took them all – he was happy to have just a share in Farmer Goodfellow’s largess – and he generally left the hens alone. It was a shock to find himself barred from entrance when he’d been so very considerate. What was the world coming to? He was working through some possible solutions to his problem, when suddenly…

“Help! Oh, help! My babies! Someone please help!!!”

Good gracious, thought Phineas. Who’s making such a din and ruining my cogitations? He peered around a bush to see the offender and beheld the sight of Mrs. Twig, a rather plump-ish squirrel, running around in circles by the riverside. He was about to turn around when she caught sight of him. “Phineas Fox! I never thought I’d be glad to see a rascal like you – come here!”

Well, being called a rascal wasn’t exactly very motivating, but it occurred to Phineas that helping Mrs. Twig with her dilemma might help him with his, so he rushed over. “How might I be of assistance, Mrs. Twig?”

“Oh, it’s terrible, just terrible! I was down here gathering acorns for my darling children when a sudden gust of wind blew their nest right out of the tree and into the river! It’s never happened before – never! The nest landed right side up, thank the Lord, but I can’t possibly get to them and the river current is taking them away! Mr. Twig is away on business, so you’ve got to help me!”

“I’d be happy to offer my services, Mrs. Twig…” Phineas let the sentence dangle meaningfully.

Mrs. Twig’s eyes narrowed and she cried out, “There’s no time to waste then – get going!”

Phineas stayed where he was. “One doesn’t like to put a price on the value of saving your precious progeny, but after all, I’ll have to go to considerable trouble to save them. Isn’t that worth something to you?”

Mrs. Twig chittered furiously as she jumped up and down in frustration. “I should have known. Well, what is it that you want?”

“Do you know Farmer Goodfellow’s henhouse? I’m accustomed to having some of those delicious eggs every day and he has just locked me out,” Phineas said, hoping to evoke a sympathetic response.

“I won’t steal eggs for you, Phineas,” Mrs. Twig said immediately, “but I could probably find a way to get them honestly. I’ll get you two eggs every day for the next week.”

“My dear lady, I don’t care in the least how you get them. But isn’t one week of eggs selling your beautiful children just a little short? I was thinking of a month’s supply.” Oh, he was a smooth operator, that Phineas.

“Fine, four weeks, but no deliveries on Sundays. Will that do?” Mrs. Twig was beside herself with impatience at this infernal dithering.

“Perfectly satisfactory, Mrs. Twig. Ne’er fear – once Phineas Fox is on the job, the job will get done!” And with that pretty little speech, he ran off along the riverside in the direction of the river current.

As Phineas ran, looking for some sign of the squirrel babies in their nest, he was thinking ahead to how he’d rescue them out of the water once he’d found them and was muttering to himself “…I could swim out to them but it will be a messy business trying to get them ashore. If only I had a…” At this point, he stopped, amazed with the workings of Providence. For just as he’d been thinking about a boat, a splendid little boat appeared before him as he rounded a bend in the river.

He stopped short to assess the situation. The boat was occupied by a frog with a dapper hat who appeared to be singing to himself. Why, the fellow was so enamored with his own singing he hadn’t even noticed the squirrel babies drifting by! Phineas considered asking the little soloist for some help, but didn’t want to enter into another round of negotiations. He certainly didn’t intend to share his booty with a frog, no matter how well he sang.

Phineas reached for his bola and began winding it up. “Whump, whump, whump…” and bam! Right on target! The frog was knocked out of the boat and sputtering in the water, not having a clue yet what struck him. Phineas grabbed his bola out of the water, stepped into the boat and began using the oars to propel the boat away. He’d just need to “borrow” the boat for a short time on his errand of mercy, he reasoned to himself, so he really wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Wait! You can’t take my boat!” the little froggie cried out. Phineas tied his bola sash around his waist and turned to face him. “Allow me to introduce myself – I am Phineas Fox, and although I sincerely regret relieving you of your handsome boat, I am in need of it.” He thought that might resolve things nicely, but the frog appeared to have a different opinion about the transaction and swam toward the boat, probably hoping to take it back. Phineas clipped him on the head with one of the oars – an unfortunate measure, but he couldn’t afford to get into a fight with the scrappy frog. Phineas felt a touch of guilt at this and as he was rowing the boat swiftly downriver around the next bend, he called out, “Oh, by the way, your singing was top notch! I quite enjoyed the concert! Ne’er fear – I’ll return your fine boat to you when I’m done with it!”

Satisfied that he’d made the best of a difficult situation, Phineas pulled at the oars and it wasn’t long before he saw the squirrel nest whirling in circles ahead of him. Oh, this was almost too easy, he thought, hoping it wouldn’t make Mrs. Twig renegotiate the price when she realized how quickly he’d been able to achieve the rescue of her babies. But that was when he saw the rocks ahead and realized the water was becoming more turbulent. Oh, dear!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Oh dear, indeed! It might take another episode or two to wrap this story up. Stay tuned! To start at the beginning: Fig Newton Part 1

Next chapter: Fig Newton Part 11

Whump, whump, whump…bam! This post will get bola-ed in the morning.