The four of them had been friends since they were little girls: Olivia, Diane, Sally and Mabel. They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, and hung out together in between times. Now they were in their mid 20’s, out of college, and still living in the same city so they tried to get together at least once a month to keep in touch. And oh, the times they had – “gossip sessions,” they called it. No topic was off limits and a thought, once brought to mind, was instantly expressed. They wanted to stay “real” with each other. They complained to each other about their husbands or boyfriends, or about men in general. They raged about politics. They couldn’t wait to tell the scandalous secrets they’d heard about mutual friends, and if they didn’t know any secrets, they speculated based on very little information. Their fears and anxieties were brought out, examined and magnified. If one of them had cause to express a sense of possible guilt about anything, the others would rush in to justify her and stamp out those kinds of impulses. It was all quite satisfying.
And then one day, Olivia changed. They met for one of their usual gossip sessions and Diane took the lead.
“Remember Anne MacDonald from high school? I heard recently that Anne came back unexpectedly from where she’d been living and going to college and was back at home. What do you suppose happened? I’m willing to bet that she got herself pregnant or she had such poor grades at college they kicked her out. She was always kind of a dumbbell.”
Sally chimed in, “Oh, I remember her! She was a grade lower than us. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she’s gotten pregnant – she was always flirting with the boys and seemed to think she was pretty hot stuff.”
Mabel started to contribute, but Olivia spoke up instead, saying, “I always liked Anne, actually. She was friendly to me. I don’t remember her being dumb, either. Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about her if we don’t know the whole story.”
Well! This was unprecedented. The other three stared at Olivia, suddenly on uncertain ground. Mabel recovered first. “What’s gotten into you, Olivia? There’s no need to feel guilty talking about somebody like Anne MacDonald. It’s not like she even remembers us or cares what we might say.”
The other two agreed that their idle chatter could not possibly harm anyone. But the topic of Anne had undeniably been spoiled and there was an uncomfortable moment of silence.
Sally ventured forth on a new conversational tidbit. “I’ll tell you what girls, Billy did something that made me so angry yesterday – I’m still not talking to him.” Billy was Sally’s husband of two years. The “girls” were used to hearing stories about Billy and leaned in, all except Olivia who looked rather stiff. “What did Silly Billy do this time?” asked Diane. This was the way they’d often referred to him, not to his face of course. Sally relished telling tales on Billy and they were never flattering ones. These could always be counted on to provide plenty of amusement, however.
Sally opened her mouth to elaborate, but was interrupted by Olivia saying, “I can’t stay tonight – I’m sorry. I need to get going. I’m sorry…um, well, goodbye!” And off she went, leaving behind her three friends with their mouths wide open with shock.
“What’s gotten into her?” Mabel wondered out loud. The three remaining friends spent some time speculating about Olivia. Many theories were brought forth, each one more titillating than the last. Suddenly, Diane thought of the worst thing of all. “You don’t suppose she’s gotten religious, do you?”
Sally and Mabel laughed heartily at this preposterous suggestion. “Olivia! Religious!” Diane laughed too. “No, you’re right – she’s the last of us that would fall into that trap. We’ll just have to see what happens next time we get together. Let’s get back to Silly Billy.”
As it turns out, they were quite wrong about Olivia. She had secretly been visiting churches and even more secretively reading a Bible. Just that morning she’d read Proverbs 20 which contained a verse that said “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a gossip” and hadn’t been able to get the words out of her head. It was the first thing she thought of when the girls started in on Anne MacDonald. To her shock, she was uneasy about a conversation that normally she would have enjoyed without a trace of guilt in her conscience. Before she knew it, she was speaking up in Anne’s defense. What must they have thought? When the topic moved to a discussion about Sally’s husband, all she could hear in her head was “do not associate with a gossip, do not associate with a gossip…” She blushed to remember her awkward exit. Maybe she should quit reading that Bible.
But she couldn’t. She felt drawn to this uncomfortable book every day. So much of what she read challenged the way she lived and thought, yet more and more, she wanted it to be true. Could it be true? And how could she know for sure?
She’d also found her thoughts often drawn back to Anne MacDonald, curiously enough. Anne had been one of those people in high school that didn’t really belong in any group, but she was cheerful and kind and didn’t seem to mind that she wasn’t popular. Olivia had seen Anne befriend a girl whose pimply face and overweight body had made her an easy target for teasing and bullying. Since Olivia had participated in the teasing more than once, Anne’s kindness to the girl had made her feel simultaneously ashamed and annoyed. Had Anne been flirtatious with the boys? Looking back, she thought it more likely that Anne’s innate friendliness made it look like she was flirting, but Olivia couldn’t remember Anne ever dating anyone. Olivia hadn’t given Anne much thought back then, but wished now that she’d gotten to know her better.
Shortly before the next friend group meeting, Olivia was at a church service, having snuck in late, and was sitting in the back where she could make a quick exit. She still wanted to stay under the radar and this was the best way to avoid the friendly inquisitors that she’d been trapped by before. (“Hello! Are you new here? Do you live around here? What brought you to our church?”) Most uncomfortable! At least this particular church didn’t make newcomers stand up at the beginning of the service, which had happened at one church she’d gone to. She had resolutely refused to stand, but felt the eyes of others upon her as if silently accusing her of not playing by the rules.
Olivia hadn’t been to this church before. The sermon was about Doubting Thomas, a fellow with whom she felt a real kinship. Was it so wrong to ask for proof? Still musing about the sermon when the church service was over, she started to make her way to the nearest exit hoping she wouldn’t be intercepted when suddenly she heard, “Olivia? Is that you?” Turning around, she saw none other than Anne MacDonald making her way over. “It IS you! I thought so, but wasn’t quite sure. Do you remember me? We went to high school together, but you graduated a year before me. I’m Anne MacDonald.”
Olivia was stunned by the appearance of someone who’d been very much on her mind. Coincidence? God thing? “Yes, Anne, I do remember you,” she managed to reply. “I thought you were away at college somewhere…” she trailed off, hoping Anne would illuminate the matter of her return.
“I was,” she said. “My dad lost his job recently so I came home to my old job to help out with expenses at least until he finds something else. I’m the oldest of six and my mom was feeling pretty overwhelmed. But we’ve been praying about it and trusting the Lord to provide for us.”
Aha, Olivia thought. So that’s the way of it. She used to find that kind of talk tiresome, but today, coming from Anne, it sounded hopeful, it sounded good. What if you could pray and know that you were being heard? She realized that Anne had asked her something.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“Oh, I was just wondering what you’re up to these days,” Anne said. Olivia proceeded to give her short version and wanting to avoid the dreaded “what brings you to our church?” question, she begged off and made a hasty exit, hoping she hadn’t offended Anne.
Olivia met Diane, Sally and Mabel at the usual restaurant the following Tuesday night. Feeling eager to get the conversation off to a better start, she said, “Hey guess who I ran into a couple days ago? Anne MacDonald! It turns out she’s back in town because her dad lost his job and she’s working at her old job to help out.”
The other three stared at her in silence. Finally, Diane said, “We don’t actually care about Anne MacDonald, Olivia. But thanks for the update. Where did you see her, by the way?”
Uh oh. Olivia should have anticipated this question.
“Well, um… I just saw her somewhere in town,” she answered, which was true, even if it wasn’t the whole truth and was clearly somewhat evasive. They didn’t need to know about her going to church, did they? No.
In spite of Olivia’s vague answer, the other three didn’t follow up, having other, more interesting fish to fry.
“Guess what?” Mabel said, not expecting a guess. “I think my boss is having an affair! I overheard her on the phone—-“
“It was at church!” Olivia blurted out, interrupting Mable. “I saw Anne at a church I was visiting.” Why, oh why had she said that? She observed the glances the other three gave to each other. There was no backing out now. A thought came to her mind that she recognized as a prayer, perhaps her first. God, if you’re real, give at least one of my friends an interest in you, too. Olivia forged ahead, having committed herself to the uncomfortable discussion. “I know it seems weird. It does to me, too. I can’t even explain it. I’ve been reading the Bible and it’s surprisingly interesting. There’s a lot in it about hope. I’ve started to wonder if there is a God and all the things about Jesus Christ are true. I mean, really true!”
Diane, Mabel and Sally looked vaguely horrified at this embarrassing admission by their old friend. None of them could think of a single thing to say in response. The silence was an invitation for Olivia to keep going, which she did in a helpless babbling kind of way.
“Anyway, I was wondering if you guys would be interested in reading the Bible with me, just to see what it’s all about. I mean, if you want to. It’s okay if you don’t. But if you do, that would be great. No pressure, though. I know it seems strange – I can hardly believe I’ve been reading it, but I can’t seem to quit, either…” Words kept coming out of her mouth, while inwardly Olivia was pleading for someone to put her out of her misery.
Diane finally spoke up. “Okay, I think we’ve got the idea now. No offense – and I can’t speak for everyone – but I’m not interested. Religion is just someone else telling you what to do and how to think. Don’t you guys agree?” She looked at Mabel and Sally for confirmation. They nodded and Mabel added, “Be careful that you’re not getting into some sort of cult, Olivia. I’ve heard some scary things about what Christians believe. You should still be the one to choose your own destiny.” Sally didn’t have anything to add, but clearly wasn’t interested either.
Another awkward silence ensued. Olivia was close to tears. How did this happen? Why did it feel as if an invisible wall had sprung up between her and her friends? She wanted to take it all back, to say she was kidding, to restore the former easy rapport they’d always had. But she couldn’t.
“Well, I’d better get going – I’ve got some errands to run,” Olivia said with false brightness. “Let me know if you change your minds, okay?” She practically ran out to her car, feeling like the bottom of something had just dropped out. So much for a God who hears and answers prayers, she thought.
But two hours later, she got a text from Sally. “Billy told me tonight that if things don’t change, he wants a divorce. I don’t know what to do! I can’t stop crying. I told him what you said about God and the Bible and hope, and he’s willing to give it a try – reading the Bible and going to church. Could you come over tomorrow night?”
Olivia had been heard.
I love the LORD, because
He hears my voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
Psalm 116:1-2
How many awkward silences does it take to make a post get deleted? Find out in the morning.
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