We like to talk about the weather, don’t we? If you go to the grocery store, the cashier might ask, “Is it hot enough for you?” Or mid-winter, you’ll get the opposite question: “Is it cold enough for you?” If you say, “No,” you’ll be throwing a huge wrench into the normal machinery of polite society, so you’d better stick with the script you’ve been given. The correct answers are:
“It’s beastly hot, isn’t it?” Or
“I heard that it’s 20 below zero with wind chill!”
Something along those lines.
Here in Minnesota we’re experiencing a heat wave. I can’t say “The Mother of all Heat Waves,” because it’s been worse. This is perhaps “The Oldest Child of the Mother of all Heat Waves.” And if you live here, say it with me: “It’s not the heat, it’s the _____________”. If you couldn’t fill that in with the word “humidity,” you need to turn in your Midwest card. You haven’t been here long enough to deserve one.
When we have weather extremes, I look at the weather app more often. Is this like picking a scab? I’m not sure, but I like to know in advance JUST HOW HOT it will get. Guess what I’ve discovered? The Weather Man has become positively poetic with his pithy reports!
Now listen, I don’t want any of you to tell me that this is a product of AI. I just don’t want to hear it. I have concocted a perfectly wonderful story in my mind about the Weather Man (or woman, if you prefer), sitting at his desk, determined to elevate the weather reports with lyrical, whimsical prose. And why not? I applaud you, Weather Man. Carry on.
One last thing about these muggy days. It’s time for me to resurrect the poem I wrote about the inventor of air conditioning, Willis Carrier.
Thank God for Willis Carrier
Who made our lives much merrier.
He packaged cold air in a box –
Better than gold in old Fort Knox.
Next time you turn on your AC
Thank God for brilliant Willis C.
Yes, indeed. Thank you, Lord!
This post will faint from heat exposure in the morning.
Lynniebeemuseoday 