
Green gold leaves, reaching
Into deepest, darkest blue,
Illumine the night
I never said it would be great haiku.
I also never said I wouldn’t delete it in the morning. Things happen.
I’ll probably delete this in the morning.

Green gold leaves, reaching
Into deepest, darkest blue,
Illumine the night
I never said it would be great haiku.
I also never said I wouldn’t delete it in the morning. Things happen.
Ye olde paintbrush has not seen a lot of action since my surgery, but I did dust it off a couple times to work on something for a dear friend of Dutch heritage.
As usual, I went on Pinterest and scrounged around for ideas, building up a little file of possibilities. The main thing for me is that it has be something I might be able to replicate, which eliminates many choices.
I found a simple blue tile with a clog in the middle. How hard can it be?

Sigh. Harder than I thought. Here’s the original if you want to know why I was unhappy with it:

Slighted daunted, I went back to the file and picked out a simple windmill to do instead, to which I added a Bible verse that this friend had sent to me recently.

That’s all that’s been happening in my watercolor workshop of late, although I have another unfinished painting in the works.
A couple days ago I had a Great Idea! My life is littered with the carcasses of Great Ideas, so I’m not sure how far this will go, but here it is: I decided to embark upon a study of imitating paintings of the masters from over the centuries! I don’t expect mine to be any good, but it seemed like it might be good practice for drawing and painting.
Here’s the funny part. No sooner did I have the idea when I dreamed about it that very night. In my dream, I decided to start with a painting of a rabbit by Albrecht Durer.

First of all, kudos to my brain for dredging that up out of my subconscious. Second of all, even in my dream I started wondering if I had bitten off more than I could chew. I made an attempt, but don’t remember much about what it looked like. Somehow (again, kudos to my brain) I remembered that he had a unique way of doing his signature using just his initials, so I spent some time in the dream trying to figure out how I could imitate that with my own initials. Ha ha! Sometimes I crack myself up with the dreams I have.
So stay tuned! Maybe I’ll start with AD’s rabbit since it was foretold in a dream.
I’ll probably dream about deleting this in the morning.
The world is sunny and beautiful outside today, cold weather and bare branches notwithstanding. Isn’t it amazing what a difference the sun makes? Light always trumps the dark.
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.
Ephesians 5:8-11
If you’re still in the darkness, turn your gaze to the Light. You know Who I mean.
Modesty is always beautiful.
G.K. Chesterton
I agree with G.K. Do you?
“God is too good to be unkind
and He is too wise to be mistaken.
And when we cannot trace His hand,
we must trust His heart.
Charles Spurgeon
Such good words to tuck away when we are reeling from some difficulty and “cannot trace His hand.” We can always trust His heart.
You owe it to all of us to get on with what you’re good at.
W.H. Auden
This almost felt like a bracing cup of cold water thrown in my sometimes insecure and unconfident face. Get on with it!
Let nothing be said about anyone
unless it passes through the three sieves:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
It is necessary?
Amy Carmichael
The psalmist said, “Set a guard O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3). And let me always use these three sieves!

I’ll delete this in the morning unless it passes through the three sieves.
Some of you who have been following my blog for many years may recall that I started it as a photo journaling experience. I had gotten a new camera and wanted to write about the photos I took. It sort of evolved over the years and morphed into the rather eclectic set of writings of more recent times.
One of the things I have missed with having a bum knee is that I haven’t really been able to do nearly as much walking and photo taking as I did back in the day. It was a lovely habit. In spite of the fact that I walked nearly the same terrain all the time, there was always something new and interesting to photograph all through the year. This is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes. Psalm 118:23
I still haven’t done much outside photography lately, but I picked up my Nikon camera a few days ago to capture some things from inside the house.

The birds finally forgave us for neglecting the bird feeder for much of the winter.

The theme of neglect also pertains to the poinsettia.

I’m sorry that you won’t be able to see what I saw when I took this photo. There was a glowing pastel sunset happening, the wind was gently blowing our wind chime back and forth and it all looked positively dreamy through our front door. I literally did not see how dirty the door glass was until I saw the photo. More neglect, I’m afraid. This is becoming a distressing theme. Let’s move on.

The same dreamy sunset across the street…

…and in the windows of the apartment building across the street.
Photographs really can’t compare with reality.
I’ll probably neglect to delete this in the morning.
When my mom died a few years ago, we ended up with some of her things, including her old walker and cane. I’m not even sure why we kept them, but I suspect inertia had something to do with it. They got deposited in the garage and very quickly disappeared from mind and sight…until my knee replacement surgery began looming on the horizon.

Mom had both her knees replaced when she was in her 80’s. By that time, my dad was living in a memory care unit in a health care center just a few blocks from home. After the first knee replacement surgery, Mom ended up going to that same place for rehab, but on a different floor. She hated her rehab experience there, although I can’t now remember why. When she had her second knee surgery, I offered to come up and stay with her for a few days so she didn’t have to go somewhere else. In those days, the surgery wasn’t outpatient, like it is now, so she would have had a few days recovering in the hospital first.
I picked her up from the hospital and drove her to the house where I’d grown up. They must have given me information about her medications and activity requirements, but in general, we can assume that I was almost entirely ignorant about what recovery from knee replacement surgery was really like. I didn’t stay long – probably three nights, since I felt a need to get back to my own family. I was nervous about her being able to go up and down the stairs without falling, but she assured me she was okay. I knew that a couple of my siblings would be able to check in on her regularly, so off I went.
Now that I’ve been through this same surgery, I wish I could tell her how brave she was to go through it all by herself, especially at that age. I wish I had stayed with her longer, too. The first couple of weeks after my own surgery, I leaned heavily on my husband for help with the medication schedule, meal making, errand running, ice machine management (which included coming down at 2:00 a.m. every night for one and a half weeks to refill the ice machine with frozen water bottles), and comforting companionship. He was always sitting right there in the room with me if I needed anything. My dad would absolutely have done the same for Mom if he’d been able.
I would love to have been able to compare stories with my mom after I had my surgery, to find out how the physical therapy and rehab went with her, to learn more about what she thought about her new knees, and whether or not she wished she’d had the surgery done earlier. However, it was oddly comforting to have the use of her walker and cane. I think perhaps she would have been glad to know that even though she couldn’t be here to encourage me along the way, she helped me nonetheless by leaving behind those sturdy tools of support that I couldn’t have imagined needing. Underneath it all lies the unfathomable providence of God.
“O, the depths of the riches,
both of the wisdom and knowledge of God.
How unsearchable are His judgments
and unfathomable His ways.”
Romans 11:33
I’ll probably put this in the blog garage in the morning, out of mind and sight.
Slept the best I have since getting home from the surgery – yay!
Zipped around in the morning doing some straightening here and there, felt rather pleased with my level of activity.
Icing and stretches – check.
Walked around the house again for a bit. No problem!
Skipped the lunchtime pain meds. Regrets will come.
More icing and stretches. Definitely feeling it. Pretty sure that my leg is just one gigantic bruise at this point.
Did some reading, some watching, Duo Lingo lessons, listened to podcasts.
Late afternoon pain pill. Might be too late to make a difference. I have learned an important lesson.
Feeling groggy with weariness by suppertime. Our son stopped by to join us, which was cheery.
Made a half-hearted attempt to do a few more revolutions around the house, but found myself drawn to the couch as if by a magnet. Tomorrow will be better, I tell myself.
Our daughter sent me some little notes to open each day, which has been a lot of fun. Today’s was a limerick she wrote:
A friend of mine known for misplacement
Once got a knee replacement
A couple years after
She found, with much laughter,
She’d left her old knee in the basement.
Very droll!

I’ll probably…gosh, too tired to finish that.
Whoo – glad to be off the narcotics! It’s just me and extra-strength Tylenol now. I have one normal sized leg and one that looks like an elephant’s leg, which is awkward. Icing is supposed to help, as well as a drug that is supposed to reduce swelling and inflammation. This all takes time, so I am praying for the grace of patience.
I read the post-surgery instructions with more attention to detail today and discovered that I’m supposed to be using the walker without limping. Good to know! Was I limping? Maybe, but now I am making a conscious effort not to. I’ve been around the house so many times that I am in all likelihood making permanent ruts in the carpet.
I also discovered some stretches I hadn’t seen before that I have to start now before going to physical therapy. These are ouchy stretches, but I have a feeling that much more of that will be coming, so I’d better get used to it. It’s all moving toward the right end: a well-functioning new knee!
Oh, and did I mention that I had so much energy today that I did some sweeping and mopping? Full disclosure: I had some robotic help.

I am encouraged to know that each day will be better than the previous one in terms of recovery.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning.
Great is Thy faithfulness.
I’ll ask Jeeves to sweep and mop this one in the morning.
In the original Star Trek series, there’s an episode in which Spock does a mind meld with a rock-like creature to communicate with it. Upon getting in touch with its consciousness, Spock cries out “PAIN!” It’s very dramatic.

Last night, the pain block for my knee finally dissipated and I had a similar moment. But I knew this was going to happen and had some tools (ice machine, opioids) to deal with it, so the night wasn’t a ghastly as it could have been. I’ve been in the wilderness of pain before and Jesus always meets me there. I was not alone.
I found out during the day the cost of using those tools, particularly the heavy duty pain pills. I was in a stupor most of the day, unable to stay awake for long. Ugh! I guess it’s a trade-off, but I came to the conclusion that I need to get out from under that cloud. We’ll see how tonight goes! In spite of the stupor, I made about 30 revolutions around the house today, which feels like progress. I conquered the stairs last night.

According to my husband, I also had a cat scan today. Good old Luna!

I ordered a stack of books from the library to keep me company during my convalescence, although the one on top was a gift from my daughter.

Lest you fear that this TKR feature will last for weeks, I’m only going to share my experiences from this first week. Hopefully after that, I’ll get back to my usual blog business. Thanks for sticking with me!
I’ll probably do a total blog replacement in the morning.
I read a book once called Dr. Mutter’s Marvels about the development of anesthesia for surgeries. It was quite fascinating, partly because much of the medical community was dead set against it. I’m so glad that Dr. Mutter won the day. I lump the development and use of pain pills in with that as well. Many people told me before the surgery to stay ahead of the pain by taking the pills on schedule, rather than waiting for pain to get bad first. Good advice so far.
Here’s how it went last night:
Me: Let’s sequester Luna in the craft/laundry room area so she won’t be jumping all over my temporary bed on the main floor.
Luna: I know you’re out there and I will spend the whole night making you regret that decision with loud meowing and complaining.

Luna won that battle; she’ll be given free rein tonight. Other than that, I think I slept here and there. I tried out the borrowed ice machine and it was a thing of beauty. My excellent nurse came in at 3:00 a.m. to give me the next dose of pain pills and change out the thawed water bottles in the ice machine for frozen ones.
Today was all about staying the course with all the various meds and keeping my leg up and extended. They fill you with horror stories about what happens if you don’t extend your leg enough the first two weeks and it involves undergoing surgery again to fix your sorry mistakes.

How about a few commonplace quotes to round out the day?
Faith has cause to take courage from our very afflictions; the devil is but a whetstone to sharpen the faith and patience of the saints.
Samuel Rutherford
There is an affliction upon you and that is grievous,
but there is a murmuring heart within and that is more grievous. Oh, that we could but convince men and women that murmuring spirit is a greater evil than any affliction, whatever the affliction!
Jeremiah Burroughs
Love requires sacrifice.
If we never sacrifice,
we never learn to love deeply.
Elisabeth Elliot
We often treat Jesus the way Saul treated David.
We want him to slay giants and sing evil spirits away,
but we don’t want him to be King.
A.W. Tozer
God says “no” to make room for a better “yes.”
Douglas Wilson
Let’s sequester this post in the morning.
Today the day finally arrived: my total knee replacement surgery. I had been getting rather nervous about it as the day got closer, but I now know what it’s like to be carried by the prayers of others. The Lord gave me some peace of mind on the day before and I actually got some sleep!
I will probably share my journey through this process here on the old blog. It helps me to work through things. Flannery O’Connor said something about how she doesn’t know how she feels about something until she writes about it. That’s something I can relate to quite well.
It’s getting late in the day, so let me just say that the surgery itself was just shy of two hours, I was home by 1:00 p.m, and my husband has been the perfect caregiver, looking to my every need and helping keep all those meds straight. Who needs a rehab facility when you have such great care at home?
I also got so many encouraging texts and emails, and even a FaceTime call from our 7-month old granddaughter (with a little help). So many blessings…thank you, Lord! And thank you all my good friends and loving family members for caring about me and praying for me.
The night is ahead and I am hoping and praying to get some sleep. Here’s what I’ve been doing most of the day, when I’m not taking little walks around the house.

I’ll probably need help deleting this in the morning.
Sometimes I like to challenge myself to paint from a photo of a real thing, rather than copying other people’s paintings. With that in mind, I made a list of things I’d like to paint this year and owls topped the list. Why? Who knows?
I found a nice photo and got started. You probably don’t want to know what happens in my head while I’m painting, but it’s something like, “Oh, that didn’t work like I thought it would,” and quickly escalates to something like, “Why, oh why did I puff myself up with the idea that I could actually paint something?!” I worked on this poor little owl for a while and finally got to where I couldn’t stand it. I was beginning to hate the very sight of it, so far was it from what I was trying to do. I set it aside and walked away.
A few hours later I walked back in to take another look and thought, “Gee, this isn’t as bad as I remembered it. I don’t hate it anymore.” I wonder sometimes if anyone else’s creative process is that twisted.

And now you know why each blog ends with something like “I’ll probably delete this in the morning.”