Thursday, July 7, 2022 Banana Peel Penalties and Other B&B Rules

You’ve stayed in AirBnB’s before, right? Or in VRBO’s? Or in hotels? They all have one thing in common: house rules. Do this, don’t do that, and for heaven’s sake, don’t make noise after 10 P.M. In the last year, however, we’ve stayed twice at the most delightfully quirky place with some…er, unique rules and attractions. The address changed between times and the rules did, too. I can tell you about it, but as much as you may want to, you can never stay there. It’s a very exclusive lodging opportunity, available only to the two of us. But when you read the house rules, you’ll wish you were qualified to stay at La Casa L____.
It’s a magical place.

Stay #1.
Welcome to La Casa L____. We’re so glad to welcome you to our little haven. You’ll find everything you need to know during your stay in this welcome packet. If you have any questions, make sure to write them down, and leave them in the basket next to the desk! We take them out once a week with the rest of our trash.
Check-In & Check Out. “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave!”
House Rules: The airbed you are using is borrowed, so feel free to eat snacks in bed, spill drinks – whatever! Please remember that we have neighbors in the complex next to us. They make a lot of noise, so don’t hesitate to holler at them if needed.
Places to Eat: We keep our freezer stocked with half-filled ice cube trays and freezer-burned fruit. Help yourselves. Our casa is your casa!
Things to Do: The mop and vacuum are in the coat closet. We encourage our guests to make full use of them!
Enjoy your stay!

Stay #2
Welcome to La Casa L______. We are so glad to welcome you to our little haven. You’ll find everything you need to know during your stay in this welcome packet. If you have questions, just think them very hard as you are falling asleep. La Casa will answer all in time.
Check-In and Check Out. Please use the side gate upon entrance and exit. How low can you go?
House Rules: The airbed you are using has feelings. Hate speech is not accepted here. Quiet time is anytime Fred and Velma [the cats] are sleeping. It’s safe to assume that this is at all times.
Places to Eat: Our breakfast bar, consisting of overripe bananas and their overripe cousins, begins at 4:31 a.m. and ends at 4:32 a.m. Feel free to enjoy within that time.* Our casa is your casa!
Things to Do: The list of activities goes on and on. Playing with Fred and Velma, feeding Fred and Velma, scooping Fred and Velma’s litter box…Truly hours of entertainment await.
Enjoy your stay!
*Any peels left out will be added to your bill.

We are eagerly looking forward to our next stay at La Casa. Don’t you wish you could come along? Those of you who know me can probably guess who one of the proprietors is – I asked her permission before sharing this. 😉

This post is pumped full of air, but if it’s gone flat by morning, I’m tossing it.